I think I died a long time ago.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
