Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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