ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
