If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
