i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
