alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
