i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
