I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Someone signed my nipple.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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