My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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