u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize