i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize