I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
