Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
