fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
