May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize