just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
