There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
