OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
