I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize