hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
