IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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