She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
