you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
