My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
