Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
