I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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