Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i dont even know how to be here
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize