I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
