Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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