I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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