Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
