did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
