What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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