i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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