the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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