Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
