Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
