you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize