Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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