I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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