Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
