dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
only you would photoshop your dick
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
