so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
