Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
