they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
