I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I woke up under a house in Key West
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
