just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
