TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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