summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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