weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
