I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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