hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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