My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
