their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This house was built for laser tag.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
