cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
