i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
