In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
