it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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