the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
