Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
