Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize